Nescafe.

Okay.

This is a tale of caffeine consumption. So, grab a caffeinated beverage of your choice (or maybe a little piece of chocolate) and buckle your seat belt.

For those of you who don't know, I love caffeine. I consider it a huge contributing factor to my GPA, social skills, and general well-being. The love affair I find myself in with caffeine began a long, long time ago, back in high school. Yes, I'm being ironic; I graduated high school in 2007 and I realize that wasn't a long, long time ago. Back when everyone started driving, and it became oh-so-cool to go to Starbucks after school (Courtney Reeves, I'm looking at you) I realized how tasty a Mocha Frappuccino could be. A frozen treat filled with caffeine, sugar, and ridiculous whipped cream...it was love at first taste.

From there, I realized how great coffee drinks were, and slowly but surely I began to take some of my parents' freshly brewed coffee to school with me on mornings I had tests. Which of course quickly spiraled into me taking a gigantic travel mug (and of course I have a collection of these because G-d forbid I used the same expensive travel mug every day in high school...) every single morning to school.

For those of you who don't know, I get migraines. It's really fun, I assure you. Because of this, though, my caffeine addiction seems particularly problematic. On days I would miss my morning coffee, my head would begin pounding painfully. Are you seeing how this is slipping out of control? So now (circa 2007) that I'm addicted to coffee, the punishment for skipping that hot mug of productivity is a painful headache. So why oh why would I ever stop drinking it?

At this point I realize that I sound like I have a severe problem. Don't worry. But do keep reading.

So I graduate high school and off I go to THE Ohio State University, where of course I bring a contraband coffee maker to my residence hall. Which I then use daily to prepare for class. What's that? You want to have a study date at Brenens? Sure! Hmm? The Pumpkin Spice Latte (omg) is finally back at Starbucks? Great! Let's go!

So now (2007-2008) I'm up to a multi-cup-a-day habit. Sure, I grew up in a home where my parents could EASILY knock out a 12 cup coffee maker by lunchtime. (Mom.) But at that point in college my coffee drinking was still largely recreational. As classes got harder and more time-consuming, I became even more likely to be consuming coffee at any moment.

My sophomore year of college, the NY Muhlbaums sent me a Keurig.

This was, almost certainly, what led to my demise.

Long gone were the days of waiting impatiently (for what, 5 minutes?) for a freshly brewed pot of coffee. Now I could have any flavor of coffee at any strength I wanted hot and ready to go in 60 seconds or less. Much like other miracles (Noah, Chanukkah, etc.) this Keurig was in and of itself miraculous. It completely changed my mornings (and afternoons)(and sometimes evenings, in lieu of a nap before going out). Luxury at its finest, folks.

Fast-forward to my 4th year of college, wherein I was rarely seen without a coffee in my hand. I had grown accustomed to certain accoutrement with my Keurig coffee--I had a little coffee carousel that held the several varieties of coffee I particularly enjoyed; frequently I would have some sort of non-fat non-dairy what-is-it-made-of hazelnut creamer in the fridge to enhance my coffee drinking experience...you get the picture.

While the Keurig was hugely unnecessary, I'm so happy I have it.

The issue, though, is that right now, the Keurig is living in my basement at home. And right now, I'm in Israel.

Why is this a problem?

Well, curious reader, the fact of the matter is that in Israel, a nation unfamiliar with the concept of a siesta, and a people that are constantly going-going-going, the coffee SUCKS.

It just does.

There are two major types of coffee here. Fancy, expensive espresso based drinks, and INSTANT. There is nothing in between. No drip coffee. No cheap, too acidic, tastes-a-little-burnt bad coffee. Just espresso and then instant "coffee". The main perp? Nescafe.

In order to make "coffee" you first have to use the kumkum, or electric water kettle, to boil water. This invention totally rules and is particularly handy for when you want a quick cup of tea.

I'm rolling my eyes right now. This guy looks like he's really enjoying his Nescafe. This is false advertising.

One spoonful in a mug filled with boiling water and a spoon of sugar doesn't quite do the trick. Nor does two spoonfuls. Today I experimented with three spoonfuls--while the caffeine content seemed improved, the taste was just basically terrible. And, frankly, I can't afford to stop and buy a cappuccino or cafe afooch (called this because it's "upside down" and contains more milk than coffee, unlike a standard coffee drink, apparently) on the way to school (or during school or after school) every day.

Totally helpful Hebrew instructions.

Thus, I will continue to try the different brands of instant coffee (Emma even found vanilla flavored--it was actually drinkable!!) until I find one that does the trick...all while thinking fondly of my poor Keurig that's just chilling, waiting for me to get back to Ohio.

Also, the icecafe (kind of a coffee-flavored slushie of excellence) here is insane. It is absolutely out of control. So, I can still get my frozen coffee treat fix, and even better than in the states. So that's good.

[Note: I'm not actually so upset about the coffee situation, and, frankly, if this is my biggest problem, then clearly I'm doing just fine. I just really like coffee. Also, this post was not sponsored by Nescafe, Starbucks, or Keurig. Although I sponsor all of them. Clearly.]

In other news, school is going great, Jerusalem still rules, and life is good. Mamash* good.

Lenette and I went out for some highly delicious and non-coffee related FroYo on Yafo this week.Yum.

*Mamash: a sort of emphatic that means something like really. Example: someone asks if you want a cup of instant coffee, and you answer MAMASH LO. "I very much would NOT like that at all...But I will drink it if I must. And I must. So yes, please."

[Another note: I do not drink the most coffee out of anyone I know. My parents certainly drink more coffee than I do. Also, once, I went to office hours for a psychology class and in the 45 minutes I was in my professor's office, she drank an ENTIRE pot of coffee. 10 cups. AND she wasn't even twitching. Unbelievable.]

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